Beatrice E. Rodriguez
When I was told that I had to write an essay about myself, I panicked. I never had to sum myself up before. I wasn't sure were to start.
The first thing I would like people to know is that I had a great childhood. My parents overcame so many obstacles to raise us children the right way. My father came to Chelsea from Puerto Rico at the age of sixteen; he never attended a day of school in his life. He met my mother when she was twelve and they were married and had my brother by the time she turned thirteen.
I am the youngest of five children. I have three older brothers and one sister. My parents always worked very hard to make sure we always had what we needed; the things we wanted came if it was possible after the bills were paid. It's funny how people say that girls are attracted to men just like there father but I met the total opposite. The only thing I mimicked in my parents' lives was to become a young mother.
I found out I was pregnant at fifteen, I gave birth to my first daughter, Migdalia at sixteen. I thought I had the world everything was great in my life, I had a man that I thought was in love with me and I thought I was in love with him. I had my own apartment by seventeen, so I thought things were happening the way it was supposed to be. I was in the same relationship as my parents. I was in it forever. I had my family and nothing else mattered. Then I gave birth to my second daughter, Marissa at eighteen. I loved my baby girls so much; being a mother to them was the only thing that mattered to me.
I will never forget the first time I was struck by him. I was on my way out the door with my babies to visit my dad next door. He came home, he was always out and he never really came home till early morning. He told me I wasn't going to see my dad I was staying home with him. I told him I was going and he pulled his arm back and struck me right in my face. In complete shock, I picked up my kids and went to my dad's. When we got to my dad's house my daughter at the age of two told my father exactly what she saw, and I was taken to the police station to file my first of many restraining orders.
I know it might sound crazy to say first of many but that's what happens when your mind is completely taken over by someone else. Every time I promised my family and myself that I wasn't going back but for some reason I kept going back.
Back to a man that beat me on a regular basis, when I got the courage to leave him something pulled me back in. For the life of me I can't pinpoint exactly what it was. I could say fear had a lot to do with it or it could have been all those times he told me that I would never be anything in life but his girl and the mother of his kids. The one thing that I will never forget him telling me was that I was the mother of his kids and no man in his right mind would be with a woman that had four kids and a baby daddy like him.
I remember one time I tried to leave him and I went on a dinner date, he found out who the guy was and he fought him. I panicked and went back. I put up with his abuse for seven long years till one day I woke up saying to myself that I was taking care of the kids all by myself, paying all the bills and just realizing that he had nothing to do with my daily routine so if he was gone I wouldnt miss anything. That was the proudest day of my life.
I went through a little rough times after we broke up, I even got beat one more time but this time I didn't back down. I pressed charges and he had to take anger management classes. From that day on he took me serious and never put a hand on me again. Shortly after that he was convicted of dealing drugs and was sentenced to seven years and a day. Funny how he took seven years of my life away and then he does something that he loses seven years of his life.
During the time that he was on trial for his case, I was dealing with my mother being diagnosed with lung cancer, six weeks after her diagnosis she passed away. Not only did my kids lose their father to prison, they lost their other mother. My parents were a very strong influence in my children's lives. When he decided that he was no longer going to be there for his children my parents stepped up to help me.
Once again my parents were doing for me. My children took the loss of my mother very hard, she was the glue that held our family together and she was gone. My father got even closer to us after my mom passed, which helped out a great deal. I always worked and took care of my kids but it always made things easier to know that someone is there to hold me up if I start to fall.
With the kids growing up fast, my oldest daughter began going out and hanging with the wrong crowd, she was running away, messing up in school and then came the drinking and drugs. I was called into the hospital one night because the police found her down passed out drunk. I work at Boston Medical Center and when we are told a patient is down that is very bad. The call I got told me that she was found down.
At 2:00 in the morning I remember running to the hospital, I had my car but I couldn't picture myself driving in the condition I was in. When I got to the hospital she was so drunk she urinated on herself. I think that was her wake up call, she straightened her life out a lot. She is still making progress.
My daughters Marissa and Mirah are pretty good girls, typical teenage stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary. They both enjoy cheerleading and hanging out with friends. The cheerleading for them is a big commitment that they both saw to the end, Miriah's team made it to the nationals in Florida, her team took third place. They are pretty good students in school. My son, George is a good boy, he has some struggles in school but he has progress as long as I stay on him. He loves to play football and hang out with his friends.
My main concern in life is that I become a strong influence in life for my children. I want them to see me as a survivor and that no matter what life brings you, you deal with it and move on and grow from it. I have a saying, God only gives you what he thinks you can handle. God must see me with broad shoulders and a strong back, in October 2003, my father was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, he had surgery, which added a year to his life, but he lost the battle in December 2004.
There I was a single mother of four kids and no back up support. Nothing left in life but my children so I decided that in order for me to care for them I will have to further my education so that I can be their back up support the way my parents were for me. I have my siblings but they are involved with their family and their lives so I have to count on myself.
My education plan is to go to school part-time, two classes a semester and one in the summer. How long will it take me, I'm not sure but I plan to commit myself to it as much as I can. I want to own a home in the future, maybe buy a three family so I can have an investment. I don't want to struggle if I can help it. I know I can help it if I go to school and further my education so I can have a career that will help me support my family.