Katie Crocker
I am the poster child for eternal learning. I say that as a half-jest but I feel like I have been trying to grasp the golden carrot forever.
I started college in 2002 and except for a few semesters off here and there, I have been constantly enrolled in course work ever since. I have studied a plethora of subjects from Nursing to Biology to Philosophy and even an online program in IT but the one thing I keep coming back to is the idea that it is important to share what we learn and discover, no matter the subject. For too long I was caught up in the details of my educational road trip and as such, kept meandering along only half involved, still feeling like I was searching for the definitive sign that I was where I needed to be to obtain the perfect career and life after college.
My original plan was to become a nurse, and while I have found myself going back to that idea a couple times, I have come to realize that it is not the lifestyle that I truly desire for myself and my family. After one semester of pre-nursing course work, I found myself entangled in Philosophy and writing. In 2004 I earned an A.S. in Liberal Arts and transferred to a large university to continue on my path to becoming a philosopher and eventually, professor. However, life had other plans and this was where my educational path becomes very choppy.
My mind kept wandering back to elementary education but I couldn't convince my heart to give up on collegiate academia. In 2006, I gave up on both and enrolled in a BSN-RN program at a local college and started course work in January 2007. Two months later, my husband and I split up after 3 years of going back and forth on the issue. I struggled along until this past April and decided to take some time off and let my life settle. I was doing fairly well in my course work but my heart wasn't in it. It felt more important to be physically present for my children than it ever had before, and the demands of the nurse education program (regardless of the school) don't mesh well with single-parenting, working full-time and obtaining other commodities such as the ever elusive sleep.
Perhaps I am aging. I no longer have the drive to be the Alpha-dog. I don't feel like I will be a failure without earning a Ph.D. by the age of 35. Sleep wins out over going out to study groups, these days. My children's laughter and their happiness is a greater reward than any piece of paper could ever be, regardless of the words on it that proclaim whatever degree I might have earned. Working my job without worrying about how I will keep a school schedule in place around my work schedule is a top priority. Some things in life just aren't supposed to be that hard. In this, my new life, I am still driven to finish my program and to be successful. I still dream of working a career where I am respected and honored and seen as an important member of the educational process. I only hope that I might be a positive influence.
My life goals are simple. I want to create a home environment that is based on compassion, understanding and respect for each other. I want to have a house that my children can call home and return to once they spread their own wings. I want lazy summer days on the lake and the ability to go to football, baseball and soccer practices without the guilt of taking a day off to do so. I see us having nightly family dinners and bedtime rituals without fretting that tomorrow I wont be able to tuck him in or read the story. I don't want to miss any more school concerts or teacher meetings. In due time, I want to marry the man of my dreams and raise our four sons to be well-rounded, secure men. And someday I want to hug my daughters-in-law and rock my grandbabies on the front porch swing. I just want to fill my life with good people, joyous daily celebration and as much laughter as it will allow me have.
As for my career goals, I want to become an elementary education teacher. I feel that with my rather eclectic personality and diverse interests, it would be a good fit. I cant really see myself discussing the same topic hour after hour, day after day, for decades. As I remember elementary school, one or two teachers taught us all of our subjects, and that is the way my children's classrooms are run as well. Additionally, I truly enjoy the energy of younger children. Their minds are so eager and open to learning, but they also have so much to teach us if we only pay attention. The only way to get on this path is via the continuation of my post-secondary education. I am aware that I will need to go to graduate school after I complete my baccalaureate degree, and I look forward to that experience when the time comes to do so.
At this nexus of my life, online education is the best solution for me because I want to get off evenings shift but I have passed up opportunities to move to day shift because I needed to keep my days open for my college schedule. With everything that has happened in my life and the way things have settled into place, I can no longer afford to not be home with my children when they are home after school. I realized that it was time to look at other options when I finally, for the first time since 2002 resigned myself to giving up on school indefinitely. When I realized that I was willing and ready to sacrifice my own education in order to keep my children emotionally secure I knew I was ready to jump back into online education. Getting my degree is so important to me because after six years of being a student, I feel that if I don't obtain it I would be a failure. Getting a scholarship would mean even more to me because as I have spent so much time on course work, my federal aid limits are feeling the squeeze as well. At this point in time though, I am of the mindset that what is meant to be will come to pass and what is not meant to be will fall away. That doesn't mean however, that I don't really hope this is finally my turn at snatching up that glimmering carrot.