Estelle Thomson Hale
I have always believed I would be a college graduate. Education is something that is of extremely high importance in my family. As a young child, I saw how hard my mother worked to get her Bachelor's Degree to teach. She was one of the first in her family to get a college degree. She sacrificed a lot and graduated from college when I was four or 5. I totally looked to her and my dad as my heroes. I wanted to be just like them. It was in my plans and in my most fervent hopes and dreams for me to graduate from college and have a great career that I loved when I grew up.
However, for some of us, our plans and dreams are put on hold. It still breaks my heart to NOT have a college degree at my age. You see, my husband and I unexpectedly had our first child when I was twenty.
I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up when I found out I was to become a parent. I had stopped taking college classes because I didn't want to waste the hard earned money my parents made on their modest teaching salaries. I saw how much they sacrificed to put money away, felt the pinch when they made investments in our future instead of getting us the trendiest clothes or extras that would have made life a little more fun or easier.
I felt guilty for having them spend money on classes that might or might not help with my professional future. So, I decided to work until I got my goals straight and had a clear path to what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. But, life happens…
After I had my son I went back to school. Our oldest child was two when I went back the first time. I worked two jobs, one full- and one part-time to make ends meet. It was grueling. But I felt the stuff I was going through was well worth the exhaustion and hard work. I drove thirty-five miles to school one way, leaving my town at 10:30 in the morning to go to my classes with study breaks at the library or labs in between my classes.
On my school days I would get home between ten and 11 at night to get up early to bring my son to school and go to one of my jobs the next day. The situation was made more bearable by small victories, good grades and the way my little boy looked at me. He was so proud I was in school and supportive in his way when Mom had to do homework or go to classes. I would find little toy cars or his favorite action figures in my school bag occasionally. He put them there so I could play when I was able to take my breaks between classes. I knew he missed me when I was at school all day-my schedule was so crazy I barely saw him.
I had to stop my classes when I had to get a pre-cancerous growth removed and I had to spend my time taking care of myself so I could get better.
Shortly after my doctor gave me a clean bill of health, my little family and I moved back to Alaska. After the birth of our second child, I went back to school. By that time I knew the degree program I wanted to go into. I was so excited to be working on finishing my college degree. I was ready to become the college graduate I so longed to be.
Again, life happened. It was my young daughter this time whose health determined the course of my life at the time. I had to quit jobs and withdraw from school because of her health. We didn't know what was wrong with her. By the time she was two, we had taken her to specialists to get her tested from everything from allergies to leukemia and cystic fibrosis.
My whole life revolved around her medical appointments. Dealing with her health lasted from the time she was four-months-old till she was about 2½. The emergency room staff at her hospital began to know us by name, and she had been admitted three times in the hospital because she had problems breathing. No conclusive diagnosis was made to give us answers to why she got so sick for so long. We were just shy of undertaking the great expense of making our home a prescription house when she began to get better. She is now on a maintenance plan that comprises of daily medication for her respiratory health and preventative measures at home.
Now I'm thirty-four. My family has grown from two children to three. Our youngest child is almost two. I have been feeling the extraordinarily strong desire and need to fulfill my professional dreams and aspirations and to get my college degree. I don't have the resources to pay for school myself. I can't afford it—not with three kids to support.
I can't do traditional classes with my schedule and a husband who travels for work. I also cannot qualify for much financial aid, as we make too much to receive financial assistance for me to go to school and my withdrawal from classes during my daughter's health crisis compromised my ability to get financial assistance through the channels I was receiving help to pay for school. We are caught in that middle class quandary of making too much but not enough that many people in our situation face.
I desperately want to finish my degree program. My goal is to get my Bachelor of Science Degree in Computer Science with my ultimate goal of seeking a Master's Degree in Educational Technology.
During the time when life was happening, I've been fortunate enough to work in areas I've been passionate about — Education and Culture. My dream is to become a Software Engineer and work with indigenous cultures and languages that are threatened or near extinction. I have found that as a Yupik Eskimo woman, I am remarkably blessed to have a culture and a language that is still pretty much intact. Others I have worked with are not so fortunate. I have taught other languages and worked with Native children for a great deal of time and it is my belief that it is to be my life's work. I firmly believe any work I and people like me can do in helping to perpetuate Our traditional languages and cultures will help add to the self-esteem, value and richness that Americas First People need to thrive in the 21st Century.
I love computers, technology and the things people can do to bridge distance and means. Being able to have a degree in Computer Science would open so many doors for me, and allow me to further the work I am doing in developing curriculum for Alaska Native youth to discover new careers in fields dealing with technology; computers, digital media and art. In my current job and as I serve on the Native Advisory Committee for the Anchorage School District, I know that there are incredible needs in this field, and very few Native people that have the desire, training and ability to fill the needs.
I was taught to be a humble person by my parents and grandparents as it is a cultural value to have humility in your nature. But, I cannot be humble in this instance. I am very good at what I do, but I can be better and accomplish a lot more to help my People and other Indigenous people if I have my bachelor's degree. Right now I am faced with limitations to my abilities and the people I can serve.
I know I cannot do this on my own. I am asking, for once, to have someone help me capture my dream of attaining my college degree. I have worked very diligently, sacrificed a great deal in my personal and professional life to meet the needs of others without thinking of myself. Now is the time I feel I must do something for myself. And I need your assistance to do it. Please, give me the chance to fulfill my dreams of being able to help Native people everywhere and help me to take better care of my family. Having this degree would allow me to undertake projects all over the state of Alaska and the United States helping Native people everywhere.