Gail Kenny
"Finishing What I Started Means Far More Now"
By Gail Kenny
"You ought to do it," Eddie said, the first comment he'd made with conviction in our initial meeting. "You ought to finish."
Usually, I'm the one sharing the energy, the enthusiasm. Each day, in my work as a certified federal benefits planner, I talk to people with disabilities with various levels of desire for going back to work. Some of them want more than anything to work and stop relying on Social Security benefits. Others are there only because someone suggested they talk with me — at that moment, they don't envision themselves working ever again. My role isn't to tell them to work, but rather to open that door and explain the incentives Social Security offers beneficiaries trying to work with their disabilities. The last thing I expected was to be the target of a pep talk from Eddie myself.
Many times, I use my own personal experiences to build a bridge between a client and me. I've had a lot of different jobs. I grew up in the Midwest. I have a son who is nearly grown. But most often, I share that my husband became disabled three years ago due to an unforeseen heart issue, and I've been working two jobs ever since. "You can overcome any challenge when you set your mind to it," I tell them. "You can start over in a new field. You can open a business. You can go to school."
However, the one challenge I haven't been able to overcome is my failure to finish my degree. Financial issues ended my first attempt. Then there was the challenge of moving across the country and establishing myself in a career. Then, raising our son. At each interval, I expected I'd soon be able to finish. But life happened. A career change, a move, my husband's illness. Each time something occurred, my degree moved further out of my grasp.
In the past few years, I've realized that I have no idea how many doors I haven't passed through because of my unfinished degree. Just how many areas of work have I not pursued because they wouldn't be possible without a degree? How many opportunities have I missed because there were more qualified people with degrees ahead of me? When my son entered high school, I encouraged him to go on to college with statistics showing that people with degrees earn more over their lifetimes and have higher satisfaction with their lives. More than anything, I told him he needed to pursue a degree now, because it becomes much more difficult if one stops or waits.
"More difficult? Almost impossible" was the thought going through my head at those times. More than anything, I wanted him to get his degree before circumstances could get in his way as they had for me. When finances or academic struggles discouraged him, I told him, "Whatever it takes, we'll find a way."
I watched my husband's health slowly improve, even as he realized he would never be able to do the active management and hospitality jobs he had done for years. Instead of being discouraged, he entered a Vocational Rehabilitation program to start a new career. His counselor encouraged him to take a couple of classes and finish his Associate of Arts degree. I cheered as both guys took classes at the local community college in fall 2008, and tried to hide my disappointment that I wasn't any closer to returning to school. At my lowest point, I envisioned the ultimate "tortoise and the hare" story: both my husband and son finishing their degrees before me. In December, my husband finished his A.A. and started back to work for the first time in three years.
Two months later, my son has returned for his second semester, although some days, he is completely unmotivated. "Why finish school at all?" he says, pointing to us, and his other peers who began working right after high school. Instead of scraping by with a part-time job and 12 credits a semester, he already could have a car, perhaps his own apartment.
That's when I realized that I need to finish my degree, not only because it's something I've left undone, but also to show him that it does provide more opportunities, at 18 or 45. That a degree not only completes you, but also begins a new adventure. That college classes not only provide knowledge, but also reveal parts of yourself that may otherwise remain concealed forever. Apparently, it's one lesson I can't just tell him — I have to demonstrate it.
My expectation is to finish my bachelor's degree in communications. I may return to my 15-year career as a professional writer, with new perspectives gained from my ensuing work and my family. I may remain a benefits planner, with new insights based on what I've accomplished. Or I may find a new opportunity through my degree, or my pursuit of it.
I believe that an online course of study provides my best chance of success. As a working parent with many responsibilities, I can plan my classes and study time around my work and family obligations. I am used to email, Internet and teleconferences, and would easily adapt to those learning methods. I've had such a steep learning curve in my current job that I don't think "going back to school" would be a major transition for me. When my husband was considering working with Vocational Rehabilitation and starting over in a new career, I told him that time would pass whether he chose to do anything or not; why not step toward a future he wanted? In giving him that advice, I realize I was giving me my own pep talk, the same one that Eddie gave me when he said "You ought to finish." And also the sage advice I often quote from one of my favorite writers, Mark Twain:
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."